MERCURY RETROGRADE SURTHRIVAL GUIDE
PERFECT IMAGE TO EMBODY MERC RETRO CALLED ‘DIVING IN’
acrylic on canvas 31cmx 60cm by Ines Loughrey available to purchase on her site
5TH OCTOBER 2021 by Francesca Filippa
Mercury retrograde is a transit that happens 3-4 times a year when Mercury, the planet of communication slows down and can make it feel like everything is being turned upside down in one or more areas of your life. MR is usually greatly feared as things tend to get murky and confusing with delays, miscommunications and misunderstandings. I want to offer you this surthrival guide to reframe the dread narrative that has become synonymous with this time. When life “seems to be going tits up”, things are never really as they appear in a retrograde. Retrogrades want to turn things inside out so we can see something from another perspective or heal something in a deeper way. There’s always some gold to be found in unexpected and seemingly inconvenient ways, hence why I have called it a surthrival guide- borrowing Devany Amber Wolfe’s term of “surthriving” which I interpret as mastering how to graciously ride the waves of a potentially sticky time.
The final Mercury retrograde of 2021 began on the 26th sept and runs to October 18th with a 2 week pre and post shadow period that bookend it. It is happening in the sign of Libra which rules the 7th house of relationships, committed partnerships and agreements of all kinds be it with friends, family, colleagues, bosses, clients, landlords, romantic partners, marriage and most importantly the relationship you have with yourself. Libra is the ultimate mirror which takes us to a key word of what a retrograde call us to embody : REFLECT. Libra is ruled by Venus the archetypal goddess of abundance, love, creativity, art, beauty, pleasure and values so expect these themes to weave their way into your consciousness.It’s important to slow all the way down in how we relate to ourselves and others as we enter this phase of an in-between and not what it seems.
This will show up in a nuanced way for each one of us individually, collectively speaking think of it as an emotional and expression inventory to reflect on previous ways of being so you/we can evolve into deeper, more authentic relating to self and other. If you need to take some space don’t be afraid to do so but do it with grace. If you are actively relating, move above fear and separation and drop into heart-centred communication within and without.
Here is a bullet pointed list for ease of digesting the information.
1. Retrogrades are all the RE words. Review, Reflect, Reconnect, Reclaim, Revisit, Reassess, Recognise, Reconfigure. I’ve just realised that within the word “Returning” is the phrase “turn in”- a key daily ritual for a retrograde. I use oracle cards to divine with mercury- the winged messenger between the upper world (spirit) and under world (soul) I then journal to help me reflect on what the card reveals.
2. REPEAT shitty patterns, this may sound counter-intuitive but welcome repeating an unserving
karmic cycle/pattern with open arms. This reframe from Yasmine Cheyenne is delicious:
“Give yourself permission to keep learning the same lesson over and over again if that’s what you need to grow, sometimes we limit our growth by shaming ourselves when we’re revisiting an old lesson in a new variation, simply because we thought it was over, we thought we won or overcame it, but healing isn’t necessarily about winning. It’s about being willing to see yourself and that is brave work.”
This quote was game-changing for me and I hope it soothes you and helps you accept your whole humanity. Read this quote any time you fall into a self-shaming spiral.
3. RESPOND INSTEAD OF REACT. The planet Mercury rules communication as it rules air signs who make for great intellectuals and conversationalists. It is going to affect all things that correlate with air energy. Libra is a fellow air sign, air represents the thoughts we think and the words we speak but most importantly HOW we are communicating and WHY we are communicating in a certain way, for example avoidance/silent treatment may come through as we are scared of intimacy or we anxiously press someone to give us an answer as we fear abandonment. It’s not about shaming a pattern of relational shut down/ overwhelm, it is about catching ourselves when we fall back into limiting default modes of being in relationship that take us away from intimacy and conscious relating. Communication is the make or break bridge for all relationships. Healthy conflict is necessary but don’t burn bridges in a mercury retrograde. In a nutshell, slow all the way down and RESPOND INSTEAD OF REACT. This is how we re-pattern old modes of being to transform past hurt projections and deepen new soulmate connections.
My mantras for this retrograde are REFLECT INSTEAD OF PROJECT, GET CURIOUS INSTEAD OF FURIOUS. Wait until the retro is over to communicate when things are more clear, chat on the phone or in person as things can get lost in translation over text. And pause when you get random callers pretending to be your bank lol- then hang up and block the number! (More on this in number 10.)
4. REMEMBER I Love these mantras for a retro- “Don’t assume as it makes an ass out of you and me” and from The Buddha - Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
5. RE-RELATE The mind rules logic and rationality which is rooted in ego and intellect. The latter is great and needed in discerning our relational boundaries but I don’t know any intimate relating that was created purely from logic. The only way we can show another we are not projecting our mind-stuff onto them (judgments/past hurts/personal beliefs) is to relate from the heart. To relate from a heart-centred place is to move away from shame and blame (ego) and let the heart lead the conversation where both parties know that love is the glue and that Resolution is the desired outcome- this creates a level of safety and connection.
‘Non-violent communication’ is a wonderful practice to move away from ego -centred relating. I encourage you to research it. The main thing I take from it is in the Hunter And her Cocoon Community Commitments where each person is asked to to use “I” statements” when sharing their feelings and telling their stories. This practice honours our individual lived experiences and unique truths whilst respecting our differences and similarities from a heart centred place of non judgement. This creates the foundation for relational healing; when every person feels seen and heard and validated in their own right.
Another great NVC technique which stems from “I” statements is instead of saying. “You made me feel” which disempowers you and puts the blame on another, try saying “I felt this way when you said/did this…” it takes ownership for your own reality and is a cornerstone for emotionally mature relating. I turned a corner from always being a victim to embodying mature wisdom when I began relating this way.
6. REFLECT REPAIR AND RESOLVE Mercury can bring up old issues to be healed in significant relationships. I had drifted apart from a beloved best friend earlier this year so before we met “to have the talk” I really really reflected and owned my part in how our relationship had broken down so I could come to the conversation from a mature high-hearted place to repair and resolve. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, I came in with wanting to make it right. I made this intention clear at the beginning of the chat and the whole thing flowed like honey. Essentially get out of your head (ego) and into your heart. The people who can meet you there are your people. Those who can’t aren’t. Don’t burn bridges. If something is really sticky and multiple ruptures of trust have occurred, wait until the retro shadow period clears at the beginning of November to communicate.
7. RECONNECT AND RE-ESTABLISH Important beloved relationships. Retrogrades bless us with old soul mates coming back and new soul mates coming into our lives (not including lovers lol) Enjoy seeing beloved people from your past pop up unexpectedly!
8. RECREATE This is not a time to work on new ideas to start/launch new projects but instead rework or revisit old ones. Do research and re-study concepts/philosophies, review old ideas, visions/beliefs to gain deeper understanding. See what still resonates, what can be repurposed, refurbished and re-presented. See old ideas through new eyes. Reignite an old hobby/passion. Reclaim and rename your art.
9. REFRAIN AND RESTRAINT Try not to purchase technological/electrical appliances, book travel
or travel abroad, when commuting anywhere leave much longer travelling between places. Check texts and emails for embarrassing or damaging typos and check you are sending the correspondence to the correct person! Try not to sign contracts, move house or start/rekindle romantic relationships. If a lover returns, take it slow and get to know what their intentions are as people tend to get nostalgic during these transits. If you meet a new lover, don’t dive in head first, take time getting to know them. Don’t set anything in stone. Read the small print of their body language which includes the things said and not said.
10. RESPONSIBILITY Mercury is the messenger and communicator of the cosmos which translates into the material world as technological appliances, information shared over the internet and transport.
• Take radical responsibility for your material world. Clear and tidy up your computer tonight, back
up your hard drives, do server updates (I tend to do this before a retro to be safe), check your emails and texts thoroughly before you send them, give way more time to get places, keep track of belongings as they tend to get misplaced. This means your body, don’t walk using your phone as you cross a road or are driving. In the last 3 mercury retros, I have had my phone stolen straight out of my hand in the street near my home and had no insurance so had to buy a new one as that retro was in Virgo my 2nd house of assets and belongings AND my mercury is in virgo so it always hits me here! Another one I dropped my bank card as I was rushing, then someone stole it and used it before I could freeze it, the last one I got scammed on the phone for a lot of money from someone pretending to be my bank which thankfully I got back. I’m bestowing you with this wisdom so you heed the lessons I have learned.The light of this shite ended up being how awesome my friends are who gifted me money to help me buy a new phone and the people in my neighbourhood were so kind when I was mugged!! This challenge helped me to deepen into my knowing that community, not my phone was and always is my/our greatest asset. I also got home contents insurance and know how to spot a scammer a mile off!
11. REST AND RESCHEDULE Things take way longer than we want them to in retrogrades, slow. down, let people down. One of the creatives who I mentor 1:1 loves it when I graciously reschedule and give honest reasons as to why I can’r show up because it gives her permission to do the same.To be human. Resting is a basic need and shows we are not machines. Rescheduling to prioritise rest or alone time flies in the face of toxic productivity, over giving and people pleasing which are all libra shadows.
Please try and laugh as much as possible as it really can feel like life is taking the piss in retrogrades. Life is not punishing you. Life is teaching and nourishing you. Life is not rejecting you. Life is redirecting you. Mercury doesn’t want our minds full, mercury wants us to be mindful.
Love you all so much I hope this Resources immensely!
Francesca xxx